Step Two – Defining a Specific Goal
Okay, so you picked something about your behavior that you want to change for the better!
Now, what we need to take a look at is a specific aspect to change.
Say, you chose weight loss (like many Americans do)
What is it about the weight loss that you want to change?
- Do you want to eat less Massive Meat Meals from your local fast food chain?
- Do you want to simply incorporate more fruits and vegetables and less snacks?
- Has smoking made you gain weight and you want to stop smoking in order to try to lose the weight?
- Does Aunt Linda bring over a plate of cookies every Friday night and you want to eat less of those?
- Maybe you’d just like to get the motivation to attend a weight loss program or your local gym….
Perhaps, it is a combination of one or more of those that, you feel, has helped you gain the weight.
Let’s pick just one, though, to tackle for now…
(Go ahead….take your time and then, write it down!) 
Need a little more help?
How about the example of spending more time with your children.…
What is it that you want to change so that you can spend more time with your children? Or that would motivate you to do so?
- Do you want to do less household chores so that you can use that time to play with your children?
- Do you want to spend less time on your phone so that you can focus more on your children?
- Maybe getting up earlier in the morning will give you an extra 10 minutes to play a game of Hide n’ Go Seek before school?
- Perhaps, quitting your current job (which typically puts you in a bad mood) will make you more motivated and likely to want to engage in family activities?
Let’s look at the example of saving more money…. 
What is it that is keeping you from saving more money? Much of these take some true honesty with yourself….go ahead….be honest! You don’t have to share it with anyone….just yourself!
- Are you buying too many cappuccinos each week on your way to work?
- Are you spending too much money on your grandkids?
- Is the cable television company charging you an arm and a leg (some things, you can’t control) and you would like to learn to watch less TV (some things you can control!) so that you can live with having a more affordable package?
- Do you buy on a whim and would like to learn to buy only what you absolutely need?
- Is your rent too high and you would like to have courage to find a livable space that’s more affordable so you can put money away for something better later on?
Does that help?
Okay….go ahead and be honest with yourself with the behavior you engage in and would like to change!
Write it down!
Got it? Good job…Now let’s move on….
Time for a Specific Phrase!
Perfect! Now that you have discovered the specifics, let’s phrase your behavior goal in a way that reflects this….
Instead of saying, “I want to lose weight” or “I want to brush my teeth more” let’s break it down to something more specific….
“I want to lose 24 pounds.”
“I want to play one game with my children each day.”
“I want to save a total of $50 per week.”
“I want to smoke no more than three cigarettes a day”
“I want to call my mother at least one time per week.”
“I want to brush my hair 100 strokes every morning with the hairbrush”
“I want to sit down for 15 minutes per day and write.”
Go on….your turn!
What is your specific goal?
Write it down!