Rewarding Yourself
You’re doing great!
You picked a specific behavior to change.
You studied your behavior.
You are changing the behavior.
Very good!
Now, you need to reward yourself for the new behavior that you are engaging in.
You might say, “Nah, I don’t need nothin’. The change in my behavior is all I need.”
Well, maybe….maybe it IS enough.
But, most of the time, we need a little extra to help us keep moving and prevent us from relapsing.
What drives us to continue to do what we do is the consequence that comes after the behavior.
Remember the A, B, C’s?
If someone keeps getting attention after engaging in the behavior of saying, “hi” to a neighbor, then that someone will be more likely to say, “hi” to the neighbor again in the future.
Why?
Because that person is getting the attention they are seeking at the time.
If a supervisor screams profanity at an annoying employee to get the employee to go away, then the supervisor will continue to scream profanity (well, probably until a harassment complaint is filed against the supervisor! At which point, that’s a different chapter!).
Key Word: CONTINUE
If you are rewarded or provided a motivator immediately after your new behavior, then you will be more likely to want to continue to engage in the behavior.
Make sense?
That is why it is important to find something rewarding for yourself!
Make a list of some things that you just absolutely love or would love to do (but do not get to receive very often) and write them down.
Here are some ideas that may help:
- Money (who doesn’t want that?!)
- Vacation
- Have a cleaning company come clean your house
- Home Improvement (maybe you’d love new carpet throughout the house or a kitchen makeover)
- Spa Visit
- Massage
- New Wardrobe
- Hire a lawn company for a month so you don’t have to cut the grass
- Favorite Treat (donuts, certain candy, specialty coffee)
- Movie Night
- Dinner at an upscale restaurant
- An Extra Kiss from your spouse each day
It can be just about anything that would make you really happy!
Did you make a list?
Awesome!
Now, reward yourself when you engage in your replacement behavior!
If the reward is a small treat, such as a donut or specialty coffee, go ahead and use that as your reward more often.
But, if it is a larger reward, you may want to earn yourself so many pennies or check marks before you go on a vacation or have a home improvement done.
Set a goal for yourself this way.
Say, “If I lose one pound, I get a check mark on my special white board here. When I get 25 checkmarks (to show losing 25 pounds), then I can book a trip to the Bahamas!”
The check mark, pennies or other smaller sources of rewards this way will help you see where you are towards your goal.
When you have mastered your new behavior, you can receive a larger treat!
So let’s think….
How exactly do you want to do this and what reward are you going to use?
To help keep track, do you want to use:
- paper and pencil?
- a whiteboard and marker?
- stickers? (You can buy some fun stickers for yourself and put them on a piece of cardstock)
- tally counter?
- pennies in a jar?
- marbles in a jar?
- other thoughts?
Did you decide?
Ok, great!
Now, what type of reward are you going to give yourself?
The ideas are endless!